The Girls Talk About Coming Out



I had spent years in denial of the existence of my bisexuality. I grew up with few role models to help me through the process of actually coming to terms with what is referred to as an abnormal sexual orientation. I mean, yes I know people who were lesbian or gay or bisexual, but I was too afraid as a young child to ask any questions. It was shoved into the pit of my stomach. Eventually through much soul searching, I did accept that part of me, realizing that it is a part of me and it is ok. But then came the time when I had to make a choice: when to come out to my mother. We have always been close, but I was young (14). So, it was kept secret once again. I told some friends, because to me it is relatively easy to come out to them (or at least to my friends), but I knew that once I told my mother, a huge weight would be lifted from my shoulders. There were things in my way. My age for one. I went to college when I was 17, and I desperately wanted to tell her. So, I weighed the options. I decided when I turned 18, I would let her in on that part of my life. Well, things don't always happen as planned. I did come out to her, but a little earlier than I had planned. I was 17. My sister had a girlfriend at one point, and eventually her ex got married, my sister being the maid of honor. So the day after the wedding she took my mother to lunch and told her. My mother was accepting, wonderfully supporting of her. When they returned home, I wanted food as well, so I asked if she would take me to get something quick (we were leaving to go back to school that day). She and I drove through the drive through of the same Mexican place she and my sister had been at only an hour before. While sitting there, she was talking about their discussion, and as she was handing the money to the woman, she asked me "so...are you?" I could no longer lie. I told her. She said,"I think Ii knew". And she talked about sexual responsibility, we talked about my interests, and all was fine. Today, she goes on trips and returns with rainbow paraphernalia for us. She recommends books to read. We talk about my lack of a love life and the issues at hand for lesbians gays and bisexuals. She supports me and every part of my life. -- Lil' Bit, 18.



I have probably been bisexual all my life. I didn't realize I was bi until I was 20. I started telling my friends, and they were all cool about it. Then I decided to tell my parents. My Mom's response wasn't generic, boring, or necessarily negative, but I want to tell you about my Dad's response. It was a beautiful summer day, and my Dad was going out to mow the lawn. As he was going out the door, I said "Wait Dad! There's something I want to tell you." He said "What?" I said "Ah, forget it." He said "No, tell me" With a pleasant look on his face, and he sat down. I thought "Oh @#$%! Now I've GOTTA tell him." So I stood there, giggling and twisting my hands around each other nervously, going "Ah, well...um...the thing is...um...I'm bisexual." He blinked and said "You have both parts?" I said "What?!" Then he said "Oh, okay" and mumbled something else and went outside to mow the lawn. I told my Mom what had happened. I said "I think Daddy thinks I'm a hermaphrodite!" My Mom said, "I'm sure he doesn't think that. It probably just took him a moment to figure it out." I hope so. I mean, he changed my diaper when I was a baby! I think he SHOULD know! :) -- Amy, 22.



I remember very vividly when my friend came out to me. He was so nervous. We were on our way home from a shopping spree at the mall. He had recently sent me a letter, explaining his weird mood lately and I knew right away what was wrong. I had this really strong feeling that he was going to tell me he was gay (bisexual at the time). We were just sitting in the back seat and he put his head to mine and we just sat there for a while. He said, " You know I am not gay,don't you?" Of couse I didn't know at the time, but I just humored him and said yes. I think he said he would consider himself bisexual at the moment. I said Ok! He asked if I was like. I said "No sweetie, you are my friend. Why did you think it would change anything?" He was totally relieved. I think he was mostly scared, because he knew I had defended him with the gay issue in high school. People used to always tease him. I guess I kinda always secretly knew, but I didn't really admit it until he told me himself. I really do think that knowing this brought us closer together and we have been the best of friends since then. -- Erin, 20.

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